‘Small Headed’ Peeps…

Relationships

‘Small Headed’ Peeps…

In my last post I discussed the importance of surrounding yourself with awesome ‘big headed’ people i.e. those who inspire you, get you, your goals and support you on your journey.

Who are the ‘small headed’ peeps?

‘Small headed’ people are those who try to hold you back, put you down, tell you that you can’t achieve your dreams or ask you why you’re even dreaming in the first place! They say things like ‘why would you want to do that?’, ‘you need to get a proper job’, ‘be realistic about your expectations’. They support what they think you ‘should’ be doing, rather than what feels right to you.

Unfortunately, they are often the people closest to you like family or those you’ve known a long time and believe they’re looking out for you. What’s important to remember is that these ‘small headed’ people aren’t trying to be malicious, they just aren’t in the same place as you, which is ok and not their fault. They’re just a few steps behind you and in my experience, those who at first doubt you are normally the first to ask for help when they see how awesome you’re doing!

Why do they act like this?

Their initial dismissals are based on fear; they often want to change themselves and feel threatened because they see your success as a reflection of their failure.

We love to blame everything other than ourselves for our problems, rather than accept that, in reality, we’re often holding ourselves back. So it’s understandable that some people feel unsettled when others make positive changes and take control of their own lives.

This feeling of fear is a reflection of their own limiting beliefs and opinions of themselves and not a reflection on you.

How do we deal with them…?

When you ‘test the water’ (as I suggested in my last post) you’ll get a clear indication of which category people fall into. When you discover ‘small headed’ people it can seem difficult to know where to take the relationship, particularly if these people are lifelong friends or family.

You’ll be happy to know that you don’t have to completely cut them off (unless you want to!) but I certainly felt the benefits of limiting the time I spent with them, at least initially. I also found it helped if I didn’t divulge the full depths of my dreams and ambitions for a while, I told people on a need to know basis.

The key for me was to spend the majority of my time with ‘big headed’ people as this really helped improve my self-worth. The ‘small headed’ people then became easier to tolerate because their opinions didn’t have the same effect on me as I wasn’t seeking their approval.

I also didn’t judge these people by my own standards. How they live their life is entirely up to them and none of my business, whilst I respected their views  my focus was always on being true to yourself. I will let my success do the talking.

What should you take away from this?

Take a look at the suggestions from my ‘Totally Awesome Peeps…!! post as they’re still relevant here.

Really think about who you take advice from. Are these people ‘qualified’ to give you this advice? By this I mean are they where you want to be? For example, you wouldn’t go to the doctor to get advice on a pension and you wouldn’t go to an accountant about your bad knee! If you want to improve yourself and your life, take advice from people who are already doing it, not from those who aren’t.

Remember this is your life, nobody else’s and you are not being selfish by wanting to follow your dreams or become the best version of yourself. When you are living from a place of passion and being true to yourself, it will have a hugely positive effect on others.

There is a famous belief that you are the average of the five people closest to you, so choose those people wisely!

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